There is an entire subculture that thrives in El Paso alongside and to a degree, right under the nose, of most people. It is a culture that is taboo and unspoken, but exists nonetheless.

All though it probably wasn't the vision of Susan B. Anthony and other fore-mothers of the Women's Movement, it is a culture in which women call the shots. It is the world of sex clubs and swingers.

There are at least two free-standing sex clubs in El Paso, both located outside city limits on East Montana. One club is located next door to a couple of strip clubs and the other is located further out, next door to a church and a residential neighborhood. There are also a couple of floating clubs that are held in hotels and require an admission fee. This piece is neither an endorsement nor an indictment of the lifestyle, but is meant to shed light on a lifestyle that co-exists with the rest of El Paso.

Great Expectations

Great Expectations, located near the strip clubs, caters to a younger crowd and a large clientele of military service members. GE markets itself as an "after-hours" club where BYOB is the rule and things don't start happening until 1 or 2 a.m. Occasionally GE offers a male revue show. But the bottom-line for Great Expectations is that it is a sex club. A club where people can have sex in semi-private and public rooms.

GE is for the curious and very sexually casual. And like most such clubs, it costs more to be a single male: The price is $30 for couples, $40 for males, and single women get in free. In the public area of the club there is a DJ and dancing area along with an ample snack food buffet (some people work up quite an appetite). There are also two stages complete with stripper poles. Throughout the evening professional and amateurs alike take turns working the pole. It's a very popular attraction for women with the fantasy of performing on a stripper pole, but don't ever want to be an actual stripper.

One woman, who asked not to be identified, told me, "For me, it's about fun and doing something I always wanted to do. I don't ever want to be a stripper, but it's something I always fantasized about doing, but just once. There is something about capturing men's attention on the stage for just a few minutes that is exciting to me … it does wonders for the self-esteem."

"It's kind of cool, I think. For some reason I get jealous if another man checks out my wife in the mall or at a restaurant, but a stage full of guys stuffing dollar bills in my wife's thong doesn't bother me for some reason. It makes me proud to know that I am the one that gets to take her home," the woman's husband added.

Aside from the public areas, there are some private and semi-private areas where sexual acts take place. The arcade room is an area that couple or singles can go into freely. An adult film plays on a large screen monitor and a bed is located in the center of the room that is lit only by the flickering of the television. Several couches edge the room and several single men and the occasional couple populate the room. Couples that enjoy having sex in front of other people will occasionally occupy the bed and perform while others watch.

The club also has several rooms that require a staff member to let people in to. Single males are not allowed, but someone how mysteriously always find their way past all the security. Seven doorless rooms are in the back covered only by cheesy cut-outs of bed sheets. The rooms are dimly lit with a bed and a couple of pointless wall decorations. There is a nightstand used primarily for people to lay their drinks or valuables while they are otherwise occupied.

These rooms are expressly for sex. Some people go to just have anonymous sex with a stranger, others to have sex with their mate to spice things up, and still others are actual swingers. But it is an environment where anything sexual can happen, from standard twosomes to threesomes, girl-on-girl, swapping and all-out orgies.

The club provides complimentary protection and an abundance of males in shirts that say "Security." They exist to ensure that illegal activity doesn't occur, primarily drug use. They are also supposed to serve as bounces for anyone that becomes unruly after a night of drinking. But often, the security guards are just there observing people having sex.

Quiet Expressions

The other club is much more discreet and is located next to a church and residential neighborhood. It's called Quiet Encounters, more commonly referred to as QE and is located in a building that was formally the Quetzal Restaurant. Completely abandoned during the day, the parking lot is filled to capacity at night but lit only by a very modest neon horseshoe.

QE caters to a totally different crowd. It is a more mature (not just by age) and diverse crowd. This club is not for the casual sex experimenter, but geared more toward couples and swingers. Entrance to the club is restricted much more so than at Great Expectations. The front door is locked and there is a video camera pointing at you. The management view who's at the door before they let anyone in. If you are not visually recognized, someone will go to the door and ask who you are and if you know what kind of club it is. You are required to fill out a membership form, complete with legal disclaimers relieving the club of liability before you are allowed to enter.

Once the legalities, and the fee, are taken care of a membership card is issued and the staff takes the couple on a tour of the place. Your drinks are taken from you and put into a bucket with ice to keep them cold.

There are several pool tables, a buffet, several tables and chairs, a dance area, and yes a stripper pole. Much larger in size than Great Expectations, QE has private and semi-private rooms. The private rooms are equipped with actual doors that lock.

I found out from a regular couple that most people at the club get to know one another and several liaisons are orchestrated online, through an adult swinger's website. The same type of sexual activities occurs at QE that happen at Great Expectations, but the environment is completely different. People seem much more comfortable and familiar with one another.

The Rules

The regular couple explained to me why. "It's not the Wild West here. It's for grown-ups, not for kiddies. People follow the rules here, so there are no problems. That's why you don't see a bunch of guys running around in Security shirts," said the husband. I hadn't noticed it, but he was right.

Curious about "the rules," I asked for some detail. The wife explained: "They are simple and common sense. People think that just because we enjoy this lifestyle that we don't have rules or our own code of acceptable behavior. You just can't be some perv or dirty old man trying to poke at whatever walks by. That's not how it works. It's about being respectful of the ladies' wishes."

So the husband outlined the basic rules and levels of swing. "First and foremost, no means no and stop means stop. That one is simple and non-negotiable. Everyone looks out for each other," he said. "Nothing happens unless the women work out the details. The women choose who and when; what is okay and what the limits are." He finished up by saying, "No one joins any action unless invited, even asking to join in is frowned upon, and above all, protection and discretion."

I was surprised by the last two and the wife explained, "People come here for fun, but no one wants to catch anything. If you love your partner, you don't want put them in a position to risk their health, even though the behavior is considered risky and everyone knows there is no such thing as 100 percent protection. But we all know that seatbelts and helmets add to our protection on the road, but they are not a 100 percent guarantee that we will always be safe when we drive … Discretion is important because everyone has their own regular life. There are doctors, lawyers, teachers, and all kinds of regular people here. They have this lifestyle, but it doesn't define them as a person completely, even though the rest of society will try to define them by their lifestyle. People keep their mouth shut about who comes here and what happens. It's part of the code. You have to feel safe here and that no one else will know about your business."

I was curious if they'd ever run into anyone they knew here and they both told me that it has happened a couple of times. "At first it's awkward, but they are here for the same thing we are. If they are new to the scene, they get chatty and ask questions and it puts them at ease to talk to someone they know who knows the law of the land, so-to-speak," the husband said.

The wife then added, "But we don't ever do anything with someone we know from the outside world. We don't ever want to blur the lines. Every couple has their rules, ya know?"

Degrees of Swapping

Next they explained the various degrees of swapping. The wife explained that it's like swimming. "When people first learn to swim they are a little scared, so they slip their toe in first to test the waters. Some people will then ease in to the water and every once in a while, somebody just dives right in. Swinging is the same way."

She continued, "Some people start off by just watching other people and then maybe they go off to a room and have sex. Then maybe they decide to have oral sex or regular sex with their spouse while another couple does their thing in the same room. A lot of people stop there and never go any further. We started off that way.

"I guess we'd both been thinking about taking it further and we talked with each other and decided that we'd try going a little further the next time. So we did a soft-swap. That's when you just have oral sex with another couple. If the women want to experiment with the other woman, then that happens sometimes too," she added.

The husband interjected: "It's weird to some people, but common in swing circles, but we don't kiss the other couple. That's a rule for us. It's too intimate and is something only for us."

The wife went on, "Then there is full-swap, same room and full-swap different room. We've done full swap in the same room, but never different. It's just not our thing. But there are couples that do much more and have 'open' relationships. That's not somewhere we'd ever go though. Every once in a while you'll see a couple arguing and you know that someone crossed a line. But they are usually rookies and they learn. Either that, or we never see them again."

The husband laughed, "Hell, you never know, we never thought we'd go this far! But we talk to each other and make sure that we are both comfortable with whatever happens. If either of us isn't then it doesn't happen."

Apparently there is a spectrum of sexual acts that happen in the swing and sex club culture. One thing that I did notice was how tolerant and accepting people in that culture seem to be. They are very comfortable with one another. There are no body hang ups like in a normal club, which is immediately evident. People of all shapes and sizes will walk by naked as the day they were born and no one bats an eye.

Aside from the fact that it is a taboo subculture to some, there are serious legal questions. Liabilities and the potential for prostitution are a concern for some citizens. Another concern is whether these clubs are covered under any existing ordinances dealing with sexually oriented businesses. One question is whether the existing ordinances cover the clubs or if the community wants new ordinances specifically dealing with sex/swinger clubs. These clubs exist for a sexual purpose. There is an entrance fee, so someone is making money.