July 9, 2009
A kiss is just a kiss, unless it's between two guys at Chico's Tacos, at least, that's what it looks like after a late night outing, no pun intended, turned ugly at the taco haven. This week, the venerable El Paso institution came under fire for kicking a group of gay men out of their far eastside restaurant for kissing. Allegations that the security guard and the police were slinging homophobic slurs further served to inflame an already sensitive situation. The police say their rookie officer misspoke when he said it was against the law for a man to kiss a man in public, the security firm is sticking by their employee's actions that night, and the gay blogs are screaming for a boycott of Chico's.
So What's Love Got To Do With Two Guys Kissing, and Would This Have Happened If Those Guys Had Been At McDonald's?
I know the question being bandied about is, would this have happened if the couple in question was heterosexual, but I wonder if this would have happened anywhere else but Chico's Tacos? Chico's is a well known late night El Paso stop. People who have been out clubbing go to get their taco fix because alcohol consumption in El Paso inevitably leads to those delicious, tomato soup-logged rolled tacos. No matter what the hour, there are families with children vying for a booth so they can slurp down their double order with fries. It's the most democratic of El Paso eating establishments and it is also the most high profile restaurant we have, so I have to ask, did these guys seek out the publicity of being kicked out of Chico's?
In general, I think people are less likely to be offended by the sight of two women kissing than they are by two guys macking on each other. I know a lot of the guys I work with and come in contact with wish that it would have been two girls at Chico's that night and that the video was on youtube. People I have spoken to say that if a heterosexual couple had been the ones kissing, there would be no issue, and they're right. Heterosexuality, right or wrong, is the accepted norm in society. If homosexuality was as accepted as we all think it should be, then a kiss in Chico's wouldn't have garnered a blip on the media radar. Every gay friend I have knows this, and they tell me that unless you want to get a reaction, you don't bring attention to yourself. One guy even told me that he thinks this was a calculated move on the part of the men who were in Chico's. He said it's like the girl who goes out for her high school football team. If she didn't want the attention, why would she bother? Because she knows a girl going against the accepted norm will cause talk, hence, my questioning of these guy's motives.
It has been reported that the security guards knew this particular group of guys because they had been in that location before and had gotten "loud and rowdy". So, if you had already been in a restaurant and had been told to that you were loud and rowdy, why would you not temper your behavior the next time you went in unless you wanted to stir something up? And if they were treated so poorly, where are the other people in the restaurant who could back that story up? Conversely, are there people who were appalled by their behavior? I wish people who were there would speak up! Look, I don't know if these guys wanted to cause a problem or not, I just know that if I wanted to go back to a business where I had already encountered a problem, I would make sure that I didn't repeat the same behavior, unless I wanted to cause problems. I'm not saying the guys shouldn't have been at Chico's, only that they should have been aware that they were already going to be on the security guards radar because of the previous incidents. It's no different than if gang members or a group of rowdy high school athletes had been told to cool it before. When you go back, you should cool it. So should gay guys be allowed to kiss in public? Um, yes, to a certain point.
I think El Paso is a pretty tolerant town. Go anytime to the OP, the Mining Company, or the Tool Box, and you'll see gays and straights hanging out. We have a gay pride parade that is well attended by a broad spectrum of El Paso residents. Hell, we even have an elected official who is not out publicly, but is generally accepted to be gay, and no one seemed to mind his orientation when they went to the polls. And in this heavily Catholic, heavily Hispanic town, we all know families who have a gay son or daughter who are out to everyone, and by God, no one better say one word against them. And that's the way it should be. I'm sure there are instances of people being stupid towards gay people, but for the most part, you don't hear about the kind of hate crimes that you hear about in other cities. A person's preference should never be a reason to hate them, just like a person's color shouldn't be. But if you want me to treat you with respect, then treat me with the same respect. There is no need for a kiss to freak people out. But there is also no need to be disrespectful of those around you when you are screaming for respect yourself.
El Paso is a tolerant town, but tolerance is a two way street. I don't want to see a heterosexual couple going at it in public, nor do I want to see a homosexual couple either. You want to chew on each other tongue's, go somewhere else -- can't you see I'm trying to eat, here? And as for a Chico's Tacos boycott, I'm all for it. That means more for me!
***
Patricia Martinez is the co-host of the Mike in the Morning Show on 93.1 KISS FM. If you are looking for some love advice from Patricia, or want to raise an issue, please send an email to info@epmediagroup.com with "Love" in the subject line. Click here for the WLGTDw/it archives.