Let’s just get the childish tasteless jokes out of the way first and then move onto the more intellectually disguised tasteless jokes.

I’ve heard of a judge screwing a defendant, but this changes the meaning completely!

Looks like somebody found something quite nice in the “discovery” phase of the trial.

Is that a banana in your robe your honor or is my client being considered for a lenient sentence?

“We’d be glad to meet in your chambers, your honor – what should my client be wearing?”

“When’s Melina Castro running for judge?” Talk about a soaring crime rate! (If you are reading this Melina don’t get angry. You are very pretty and freshman humor is just a part of your burden. As a person whose parents declared happily that their son, “has a face for radio,” I’d give anything to be the butt of a joke insinuating that I had better than average looks.)

I knew “exculpatory evidence” didn’t just sound dirty.

I could go on and on, but I know you have a full docket and only a hand full of Viagra to get through today… okay seriously, that was the last joke.

Did you not think you were going to get caught? Seriously? After everything that has happened in the last couple of years did you really think you were going to pull this off?

Did you think of your supporters? All the people who called into radio shows, posted comments on articles and made pitches to friends over coffee – did you think about them? They won’t soon forget what you’ve (allegedly) done and you can bet I’m going to fry each of them on my radio show that airs weekdays from 6 to 8 a.m. on 920 AM KQBU, every chance I get.

At least we know you truly are a Democrat. Had this (alleged) encounter involved boys we’d be questioning that moniker. (Settle down Republicans, it’s just a joke).

I’m sure you are sorry and like any other politico in trouble of this kind, you’re going to check yourself into rehab. We know the drill. Use the time wisely – figure out that you can use your Catholic upbringing as the excuse. (If I have to explain that concept to you then you are more seriously trouble than I thought.)

The real crime here will be the out of town coverage. It’s an easy story. A judge trading sex for better treatment (allegedly) gets caught with his “pants down.” Granted that isn’t the exact case, but morning shock jocks and websites that track funny and weird news will bill it that way. Of course they’ll have to mention El Paso along with the story. We’ll be worth a chuckle and a “where in the hell is El Paso?” quip from snarky radio show hosts and their guests.

I’m left wondering if we’re ever going to get a break from this kind of news. People like you, Mr. Barraza, are turning us into that guy who can never get it right. The lovable losers who can’t quite seem to keep things together long enough to shake the image. Think Ritchie Valens brother in the movie “La Bamba.”

I dare you to go back to the bench after you bond out. I dare you. You wouldn’t be 100 percent El Pasoan if you didn’t. Heck, why am I even daring you, you’ll claim it was a setup put together by the Bush administration – it worked for Jaime O. Perez and his friends not too long ago

I wouldn’t be worried, though. I bet you could win reelection next week as long you keep a big fat “D” after your name. The straight ticket voting sickness in El Paso allows those with a “D” behind their name to “get out of jail free card” for just about any offense. You’ll be just fine.

So forget I said a thing. I may be the only person who noticed this nasty little (alleged) event ever took place.

Let’s hope that judge you see doesn’t share your (alleged) tactics for running a court when you go before him or her. Well, let’s at least hope you find him or her attractive if that’s the case.

Love,

David Karlsruher

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More on this story

In office 3 months, Judge Manuel Barraza arrested by FBI: wire fraud, bribery, sexual favors
by David Crowder

El Paso voters are road kill on the straight ticket/race highway
by Lisa Degliantoni

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